Evolution of Homos. in Homo s.

“Sometimes men like women,

Sometimes men like men,

Then there are bisexuals,

But some say they are just kidding themselves.. “
Phoebe Buffay, on F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I always wondered why its such a big issue if women like women..or men like men. I mean, ideally speaking everyone should love everyone. Right? But I guess we don’t exactly live in an ideal world. Learnt that in school when we spent pages learning about the properties of ideal gases towards the end of which, we learnt that no gases show the idea behaviour!

So, here is my take on this subject of homosexuality on a light note..

So to be frank, nobody has a problem with people “liking” people of the same sex. They become one’s BFF’s. The problem is the physical attraction... sex with the same sex.

From nature’s point of view, every species needs to reproduce to sustain itself and evolve. Survival of the fittest etc... Right from bacteria to sperm whale, every living thing reproduces to sustain. So, how did homosexuality come about to be which is against the whole idea of nature’s laws..

That... we may never know for sure.

I always feel that nature has a way of bringing back things into balance. The need to sustain human population is no more a need. Maybe homosexuality is a response to balance the instinct to reproduce yet to not actually do it..

So, if you find yourself having homosexual tendencies, please don’t suppress it. You are probably evolved!!! :-)

 And of course, besides keeping yourself happy you will also be doing the world a favour!

DELHI ... part 2!!!

So.. though my first two months in Delhi seemed to be bad.. (refer my previous post), now that I think about it, they were the most comfortable. I am sure Mahalakshmi would agree.. 
Winters in Delhi are quite harsh.. atleast compared to all the places I have lived in India. But I loved it.. At peak noon, the roads would be so foggy..


And it was best feeling to slip into the thick quilts after coming back shivering from dinner. We  (rather... it was me) found it nearly impossible to get out of it in the morning... :-) 


Towards the end of december, our friends from college, John, Gowri and Sandhya too arrived in Delhi for their project. They lived in another area in a room for rent.. We went out and explored Delhi with them. It was a lot of fun. I had a very comfortable feeling being with them. With them, I could let my guard down and be sure that they wont do anything in-human.

Maha, Sandy, Me, Gowri and John @ DLF Mall

And the most memorable time I had in Delhi was on new year's eve, also the eve of Sandhya's birthday.. :-) :-) Mahalakshmi and I stayed over in their room. It was a riot.. 

Wanting to do something different, we got an ice-cream instead of a birthday cake. So I was thinking that we have to break the tradition of smearing the birthday baby's face with cake... but the pic below shows otherwise.. 

Gowri, me, Sandhya the Bday baby and John with ice cream on our faces 

So now, let me tell you a little about the place where John and co. stayed! :-P 
The area was called "Katwariasarai". It was near IIT Delhi and opposite to Indian Statistical Inst. Seems decent right?? Thats what I too felt when I first got down at the bus stand, waiting for John. Then he came and guided us in a labyrinth of a market, with roads so narrow that not more than 3 people can walk and it was filled with people.. mostly men..Mahalakshmi later told me that half the men there were drunk..she would be like, "be careful..he is drunk"..and I would wonder how I miss these things.. and an open porno poster lying in the middle of the road spoke a lot about the people who live there..
there were so many shops, all of them looking identical.. the "road" was very messy.. open garbage bins in such a crowded place definitely makes things worse.. and of course, dogs. It took me more than 5 guided visits inside that maze to find my way there on my own. 


In short, not a good place to stay. And that too for a girl, a BIG NO. But we could no longer take up the nonsense going on in our PG. And the fact that 2 girls, Sandhya and Gowri too live there and dint face any problems, we decided to get another room for rent near their apartment. Having John for company raised our morale. We decided to shift there and be together with them.


February 1st, we again struggled with our bags and went through the strenuous task of shifting it..Mahalakshmi and I faced the after effects for the next 3 days..
To be honest, when we saw our room, we were so happy. It was living in a small house of our own..So the very evening, we settled down in our new home and arranged everything very neatly. I remember Sandhya wishing she could have got a room like ours. So tired from all the work, we had a deep sleep. We woke up next morning to start a new day from the new place. The place dint look so scary in the morning.. and we went off to lab. After the day's work, we spent the evening having dinner with Bharat anna and Rajat, our friend from lab. When they dropped us to our place, they were shocked while walking through the crowded "market-maze".. we assured them that its not so bad and we'll be safe... as we were talking, we reached our home, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw that there was a new, different lock put on our door. I was speechless. The guy next door then tells us that our room had been robbed while we were away and that the key is in a nearby shop. We open the door... I really dont know how to describe what I felt before opening the door. More than being scared, I was angry.. More angry with myself for having decided to stay in such a horrible neighbourhood. I knew that we might face problems.. But I figured that inside the room, we would be safe..


The room was a mess. Every single thing had been opened and strewn across the room. Everything. I hated that person who had the guts to do that. Books, papers, clothes..nothing was left untouched by them. I am very grateful that Bharat anna and Rajat were there with us. We looked through our stuff and it took us a while to see what was missing... hair dryer, laptop headphones, Maha's mobile phone, few silver earrings... 
Agreed that we dint loose a lot.. (thank god our laptops were with us). More than anything else, the theft on the 1st day of moving in hurt us emotionally. But I cooled down very soon when I realised that the situation could have a lot worse. And after John, Gow and Sandy joined us and helped us out, I was back to my casual state of mind.. :-)


Mahalakshmi took a heavy toll because of the theft. I dont think she had a good night sleep even once since then as long as we were in Delhi..Believe it or not, I could sleep well even after all this.. 


We went and complained to our land lady and she consoled us in a hindi accent that I found it very hard to place.. "koi dirr (darr) nahi beti..woh sab bhuke maare aandre hai"... atleast this is what I heard. She assured us that she'll keep an eye on our room and that a theft never happens twice in the same room. But then, we could not risk something like that banking upon her words.. so we started our search for another place to stay and even considered going back to our old PG. 


Thankfully we dint have to do that, and by mid of february, we found a working women's PG run by a Christian charity institution and it was great. There were a lot of formalities and personal interviews. And it was clear that they wont let any crazy girls live there. We decided to shift immediately..it was feb 10th.. 


Spoke to our land lady and told her that we are shifting on 15th and she told us to pay half month rent. we agreed and paid.. however the next day, we got an angry call from her son who is a "lawyer" and he started blasting us about ethics and paying the rent has nothing to do with the issue that we were robbed in broad daylight while staying in his house..and that too within a day of moving.. apparently it is not his job to ensure a tiny bit of security for his tenants, but only to collect the rent.. he went on to jabber that "anything" can happen to us on the roads outside too and that we cannot expect anyone to help us.. and he ended his "case" by saying that we are the ones who are being money minded.. 
I dint cry even when our house got robbed.. but that conversation brought me into tears. It was an open statement that no one cares about anyone else in Delhi. I just couldn't digest that people can be so heartless.. There are atleast a million more polite ways to be diplomatic and explain that there are rules to be followed and that we must pay the full rent. But the way he put it across was the bare truth.. the way things are.. More than any frustration towards the robbers, I wanted to kick this "lawyer" so hard in his *@$*$.. Somehow, I never thought an educated "lawyer" would stand by a such a selfish, perverted philosophy.


We decided..to hell with the "lawyer" lets give him his damn money and let him know what an ass he is. Next day, we had to go to submit some documents at the hostel and locked our suitcases and made sure nothing valuable was left behind.. we went to the hostel, submitted the documents, and returned immediately. It couldnt have been more than 45 minutes.. We returned to find that our room had been broken in and our landlady was ready there to inform us that our house had been robbed...again.
This time, both of us just felt like laughing. The fact that the break in happened within 45 minutes, the not so nice phone call from the lady's son, the fact that the landlady was informed about it so promptly and was conveniently present at the scene of crime.. it convinced me that it was her and her goons..probably those guys from the tea stall who saw us leave the area.. 


We dint waste another minute there and packed our bags immediately and wondered how the witch would break the news to her "lawyer son" that we moved out without paying the remaining half of his precious rent... 


And ya.. I wasn't worried about them finding us. They had absolutely no details to track us down.. I am sure they dint even have a "namesake" entry of our names..


So.. it was goodbye to Katwariasarai... 
I just realised that what happened was the best of the "being robbed twice" scenarios.. I mean.. had they broken in on a sunday when we would have gone out, we most certainly would have left our laptops behind in the room.. 
We dint loose anything significant.. but gained a lot of experience..

DELHI!!

When the idea of going to Delhi along with my best friend Mahalakshmi for my B. Tech project materialised, I was very happy and looking forward to it..After all, I had lived in hostel for the 4 years in college..But my Delhi experience was a slap in the face!!..now that I am back home and comfortable with mom's constant pampering, I remembered that I have a blog in existence.. so here goes..


We got in the train..really excited..but as the 2 1/2 days journey dragged on really slowly, we got bored looking at each other's faces.. Mahalakshmi wanted to watch a movie, but I was too paranoid to take out my laptop from the bag.. (thanks to my dad's colleague who had his laptop stolen in a train) ..so that brought about our first in a series of never ending arguments.. :-)


Finally reached Delhi and struggled out of the train with our huge luggage and fell an easy prey to coolies and taxi drivers.. reached our PG and we were shocked.. it was on the 3rd floor of a thin matchbox type apartment which seemed to be under construction..the stairs were so narrow that our suitcase would only fit side-ways... so we were figuring out how to carry the bags up and Mahalakshmi went up to meet the girls in th PG and get someone's help while I waited down with the piles of bags and suitcases checking out the area.. It was a tiny market-place..crowded and messy..but the climate was really good.. and that raised my spirits as I anticipated a horrible winter.


My first hint of an impending doom was when Mahalakshmi came back alone and said, "those girls are stupid..they wont come to help..we have to carry the bags ourselves".. and I was like ...hawww... !


Somehow managed to take them all up.. met my roommates..decided that it was too soon to judge them just because they dint help us with the luggage and wanted to leave things to the benefit of doubt..that night, a strong smoky smell filled the whole house and i got scared thinking something caught fire...only to realise that my "sweet roommates" were smoking.. their reaction to "pls dont smoke..its disturbing" was to come and close our room door..we couldnt think of anything else to do except complain to the owner of the pg and we got snubbed very sweetly.. and the two girls on the bed next to us...i just learnt the word to describe such people... "nocturnal nymphomaniacs" .. and poor Mahalakshmi would suffer sleepless nights as she tried to ignore their loud irritating talks..just the way they ignored our "pls talk softly" .. 


As for me.. I can sleep through a bombing.. However, it was a total shock when another night a guy coolly walks into the pg and goes to this girls room and closes the door behind and we heard music from the room.. still.. we decided to manage for two months till february as we had an exam and dint want to move around..


but when one night those "sweet nymphos" forgot to lock the door behind her at night and some drunk guy banged on the grill gate and pressed on the doorbell like his hand was stuck to it, it freaked out Maha.. me.. as usual I slept through the whole drama.. :-)


I am not sure exactly what I learnt.. except that some girls have absolutely no morals.. and that I sleep very badly... :-P


So.. we shifted to another place with our college friends who had come to do their project too.. it was a very homely area.. 


To be continued ......

to die...or not

Purva hated her life. She could not believe that everything around her had gone into spirals. Something like a midas-touch of extreme bad luck. She dint know how to tell her parents that she had failed her Science exam. Not that it matters. They never spoke to her anymore and were too busy to care and find out if she was okay. The only company she had at home was her sweet lab “jaanu” who was run over by a car last week. She was choked and longed for the loving gaze of his brown eyes and warmth of his golden fur. No human ever seemed to give her the same feeling of being wanted. And now that her pet was in the grave, with him lay all of Purva’s hopes and happiness. 


 
She brought herself back to the real cause of worry. She who had always been at the top of her class now shamelessly has a red mark. True .. depressing.. but how does it compare to the fact that she has absolutely no friends. It was a free hour when her history teacher Miss. Nandhini was having an interactive session and called Purva to the board and asked the class, “Purva’s friends..raise your hands”. An uncomfortable silence. Not a single hand went up in the air. Oh..the embarrassment. She struggled so hard to hold back her tears that her head hurt. She missed her old friends and wished so badly that she dint have to change her school.
Purva wasn’t able to decide what hurt more.

 
Her parents would definitely be ashamed of her. They were disgusted with the way she handled Jaanu’s loss. And from then on, she had to bury her emotions. The wet pillows weren’t noticed.. how will they ever notice that she couldn’t cope with everything. After all, the only thing that ever made them proud of her was when she got the 1st rank. And since then, they took it for granted and any lowering of her rank was treated with a scrowl.

 
No. She wont be able to bear their reaction to her marks. The last thing she wanted to avoid was to be told that she is a complete failure by her own parents. But since it was inevitable, there was only one thing left to do. Last month her neighbour had jumped off the roof of a 3 floor building but survived the suicide attempt. What happened next was a worse tragedy to both her and her family as she was paralysed and bed ridden for life. The was her mother cried out loud and their shrieks were still fresh in Purva’s mind. As much as she was repulsed by it, she suddenly wished she could draw some emotion from her parents other than disappointment. Yes... sorrow and a sense of loss is better than being treated as a failure, decided Purva.

 
She couldn’t bear the weight on her mind. It was worse than anything she ever felt. She dint want to end her life, but neither did she want to live her life in this manner. She wrote out a note to her parents and walked slowly to their medicine cabinet, determined, yet in a daze. She took a look at it. Luminal.. a barbiturate used by her mother for insomnia and Tylenol..a pain killer used by her father. She knew the consequences of an overdose. It would cause sickness to the stomach, alter the metabolism severely, affect the breathing centre of the brain, cause seizures and death. And she was hoping the pain killer will eliminate the “pain” from her suicide. Purva couldn’t help but give a snide smile. One of the causes of her decision to die is helping her making it.

 
She is forced to snap out of her thoughts. The doorbell is ringing. It must be a courier delivery for her parents and decided to postpone her “work” and proceeded to open the door. Her shivering hand works the locks clumsily and she opens the door to find her parents stand in front of her! This was not usual. She could sense some hesitation between them as if they wanted to say something important. Purva felt she was going to pass out in fear but managed to put out the stone cold emotionless face that she became an expert at around her parents. But her farce broke when her mother came forward and hugged Purva close to her heart and patted her head softly. Tears welled up in her eyes for she had been so desperate for a sign of love and couldn’t remember the last time she was hugged. Her father came ahead and held her close in a warm embrace. Purva broke down... no words were spoken for a while. Purva had no idea how much time passed. It felt like eternity to her. Her father broke the silence with a word she never heard him utter “dear.. we are sorry. It must have been very hard for you coping up with jaanu’s death. Your mother and i watched you everyday bury that hurt feeling within you. We should have had this talk with you sooner. We got so involved in our work that we forgot you... forgot that all our efforts are ultimately for your happiness”. Purva was dumbstruck.. her mother gave a smile..wiped off her tears and said “we love you so much.. now wipe your tears.. there is a surprise for you”.

 
Purva was euphoric.. she actually heard it.. her parents love her. It filled that dark void in her heart. “ok.. one minute i’ll be right away”... without further ado, she ran to the medicine cabinet, shut it, tore the suicide letter and tossed it in the bin and hurried back to her parents who in their arms, had a tiny, cute puppy... life wasn’t the same ever again for Purva...: - ) : - )

generally..

Why do we generalise our experiences? Especially if its something negative.
“my friend dint even talk to me properly today..ruined the whole day”.. “he behaved so arrogantly today and spoilt my entire day”.. “the food is bad..this day is not at all going on well”.. “my colleague misplaced the entire file i gave him and i was blamed. The WHOLE WORLD is out to get me”.. “i dint get place to sit in the bus.. such a horrible day” .. “my mom cooked exactly the vegetables i hate.. she NEVER listens to me” .. “that girl..she is FULL of attitude and the MOST SELFISH person on this planet”

Haven’t we all heard people around us say this.. sometimes we ourselves do it. I wonder why we are so quick to make the few minor negative incidents in our day to day life the most significant ones and make that the title of the chapter of incidents of the day. Why do we give so much importance to the details that make us feel unpleasant? Isn’t it everyone’s desire to be happy? Yet our impulsive behaviour always takes us the other way. We are so quick in judging others, drowning in self-pity, caught up too much in ego clashes, and deliberately hunt out and find something to criticise in our near ones, etc etc.

But of course, there are some wonderfully pleasant people who do exactly the opposite and hunt for the faint glimmers of positivity beneath the bushel and bring it out for everyone to notice. They seem to be happy always and unruffled by anything around. They are loved by everyone. I consider myself very very lucky to know and be associated with people like that. They have taught me so much.

I have learnt to observe my thoughts closely and when i find some negative thought cropping up in my head, i just listen to myself and try to be aware of the cause for the disturbance. Over 50% of the times, just knowing what is making me tensed, relaxes me!! And then, i take sometime to accept the situation and restrict that negativity to that “moment” and not make it the summary of my entire day.

Next time you find yourself beginning a sentence with “generally, the whole day ....” and accompanied with negativity, put yourself on hold and look out for the glimmer of happiness beneath the bushel and bring it out to the spotlight!!

Life is great like this. : - ) thanks to all my teachers!!

Easy Vs Hard

Sudoku is one of my favourite puzzles and i make it a point to solve it in the paper every day. Those few minutes, of cracking the puzzle and filling in the numbers, is very much enjoyable. There are 3 levels of toughness: easy, medium, hard. When i take the 9x9 puzzle to solve it, obviously my aim is to finish it correctly and hence i loved to solve the easy level.. why? Simple. Because its easy.

But as i grew more and more comfortable with the game i moved on to the medium level and very soon, was able to crack the hard levels too. Agreed, the hard level was a lot more challenging, yet i was surprised when i found myself drawn to it equally, if not more than the easy level. The pleasure of breaking my head, looking at every logical way of filling in the numbers, sometimes taking hours, and finally after all that when i get the solution, it brings me happiness, and a lot more of it than solving an easy Sudoku within minutes. i get admiration from some of my Sudoku solving friends when i crack the tough level before them. Its a nice feeling.

On the other hand, i still enjoy the easy level even though i know that i can do it easily and that its within my capabilities. its not at all a big deal to solve easy when u can solve the difficult. But yet, i am still very much into Sudoku irrespective of the level.

When this observation came to my mind, i realised that solving an easy puzzle is really good for my ego. It gives a sense of satisfaction that i am capable and gives me the confidence to proceed to the next level. While the tough level is a big blow on the ego, makes me doubt if i can do it. But yet if i concentrate and finally come up with the solution, it feels like i am on top of the world!! : - )

This works just as well in other situation with varying levels of challenges. Once you are comfortable with the easy tasks, move on to the next level. Of course it will make you doubt yourself, but when you stick to it, and succeed, its a very beautiful feeling.

Ps: i’ll be starting kakuro very soon!! Wonder what lessons kakuro will teach me!! : - )

Think like a mathematician

Recently i got a hilarious message. It goes like this.

Power of mathematics: One day a box wasn’t opening. A lawyer came and applied all the laws but it dint open. A chemist came next and applied all reactions but it dint open. A physicist came and applied all the forces but it dint open. Then a mathematician came and said: “LET US ASSUME THAT THE BOX IS OPEN. What next??".

Lol! If anyone has studied engineering mathematics, they will understand the humour in the joke. Mathematics has never been my cup of tea. And ever since i was taught the subject by my “awesome” staff, dread and aversion increased. It was amazing the way we almost mugged up the steps in a moronic way without understanding the logic behind it.

We would be given an extremely complex problem and while we are breaking our heads as to how to proceed with the sum, sir would go to the board and coolly write these magical words, “let us assume that..... “. After that, it would simplify everything. Even though we were totally perplexed about why those assumptions are made and based on what logic we assume certain things. When we questioned our sir, he’ll simply say, “we assume this to solve the problem”. Wow! It used to get on the nerves of me and my friends when we faced these moments in our math class.

But as i observed this way approach, it was interesting that the step of assuming a certain relation led us to finding an easy solution that ultimately fits the requirements. That’s pretty neat.

A realisation stuck upon me. What if we applied this quirky method of approach in our lives? All of us would have faced these really tough problematic situations where we have absolutely no idea how to straighten up the mess. The big problem is that we are never convinced that we actually have the capabilities to face our problems and deal with it. And many of us shy away until the situation heights up to an emergency and we somehow do it in an adrenalin rush or something similar. 

Next time when we face situations like that, let us think like a mathematician. Tell yourself, “let me assume that I have what it takes to deal with this problem and I can overcome it easily with a smile :-) . now what next?? “. When you do so, all these positive affirmations will affect your mindset and your attitude towards the issue. Once you are convinced that you have it in you, your approach will be more inclined to finding the solution and much less time will be spent on self doubt. And once your mind is clear, you are open to finding out new creative ways of approach!

So friends, everyday look within yourself and take the mathematical approach whenever you find yourelf clueless.

Step 1: assume that the problem is a piece of cake and that you have it in you to eat that cake!! ;-)

Step 2: once you apply step 1 correctly, everything else will fall into place and a solution will reveal itself to you.

Step 3: put the solution into practice and be happy and SMILE!! :-):-)

Easy right???

Of course when you still reach a dead end, dismiss it as a “mathematical error” and move on!!

Hats off to all the wonderful mathematicians for giving me this insight.

(Ps: to my extreme anti-math friends, don’t bash me up after reading this!! :-) :-) )