Purva hated her life. She could not believe that everything around her had gone into spirals. Something like a midas-touch of extreme bad luck. She dint know how to tell her parents that she had failed her Science exam. Not that it matters. They never spoke to her anymore and were too busy to care and find out if she was okay. The only company she had at home was her sweet lab “jaanu” who was run over by a car last week. She was choked and longed for the loving gaze of his brown eyes and warmth of his golden fur. No human ever seemed to give her the same feeling of being wanted. And now that her pet was in the grave, with him lay all of Purva’s hopes and happiness.
She brought herself back to the real cause of worry. She who had always been at the top of her class now shamelessly has a red mark. True .. depressing.. but how does it compare to the fact that she has absolutely no friends. It was a free hour when her history teacher Miss. Nandhini was having an interactive session and called Purva to the board and asked the class, “Purva’s friends..raise your hands”. An uncomfortable silence. Not a single hand went up in the air. Oh..the embarrassment. She struggled so hard to hold back her tears that her head hurt. She missed her old friends and wished so badly that she dint have to change her school.
Purva wasn’t able to decide what hurt more.
Her parents would definitely be ashamed of her. They were disgusted with the way she handled Jaanu’s loss. And from then on, she had to bury her emotions. The wet pillows weren’t noticed.. how will they ever notice that she couldn’t cope with everything. After all, the only thing that ever made them proud of her was when she got the 1st rank. And since then, they took it for granted and any lowering of her rank was treated with a scrowl.
No. She wont be able to bear their reaction to her marks. The last thing she wanted to avoid was to be told that she is a complete failure by her own parents. But since it was inevitable, there was only one thing left to do. Last month her neighbour had jumped off the roof of a 3 floor building but survived the suicide attempt. What happened next was a worse tragedy to both her and her family as she was paralysed and bed ridden for life. The was her mother cried out loud and their shrieks were still fresh in Purva’s mind. As much as she was repulsed by it, she suddenly wished she could draw some emotion from her parents other than disappointment. Yes... sorrow and a sense of loss is better than being treated as a failure, decided Purva.
She couldn’t bear the weight on her mind. It was worse than anything she ever felt. She dint want to end her life, but neither did she want to live her life in this manner. She wrote out a note to her parents and walked slowly to their medicine cabinet, determined, yet in a daze. She took a look at it. Luminal.. a barbiturate used by her mother for insomnia and Tylenol..a pain killer used by her father. She knew the consequences of an overdose. It would cause sickness to the stomach, alter the metabolism severely, affect the breathing centre of the brain, cause seizures and death. And she was hoping the pain killer will eliminate the “pain” from her suicide. Purva couldn’t help but give a snide smile. One of the causes of her decision to die is helping her making it.
She is forced to snap out of her thoughts. The doorbell is ringing. It must be a courier delivery for her parents and decided to postpone her “work” and proceeded to open the door. Her shivering hand works the locks clumsily and she opens the door to find her parents stand in front of her! This was not usual. She could sense some hesitation between them as if they wanted to say something important. Purva felt she was going to pass out in fear but managed to put out the stone cold emotionless face that she became an expert at around her parents. But her farce broke when her mother came forward and hugged Purva close to her heart and patted her head softly. Tears welled up in her eyes for she had been so desperate for a sign of love and couldn’t remember the last time she was hugged. Her father came ahead and held her close in a warm embrace. Purva broke down... no words were spoken for a while. Purva had no idea how much time passed. It felt like eternity to her. Her father broke the silence with a word she never heard him utter “dear.. we are sorry. It must have been very hard for you coping up with jaanu’s death. Your mother and i watched you everyday bury that hurt feeling within you. We should have had this talk with you sooner. We got so involved in our work that we forgot you... forgot that all our efforts are ultimately for your happiness”. Purva was dumbstruck.. her mother gave a smile..wiped off her tears and said “we love you so much.. now wipe your tears.. there is a surprise for you”.
Purva was euphoric.. she actually heard it.. her parents love her. It filled that dark void in her heart. “ok.. one minute i’ll be right away”... without further ado, she ran to the medicine cabinet, shut it, tore the suicide letter and tossed it in the bin and hurried back to her parents who in their arms, had a tiny, cute puppy... life wasn’t the same ever again for Purva...: - ) : - )
